Let’s try this again

Truth is, I am scared.

I am scared shitless.

I come on to this site and I am scared about how eerie and abandoned it is. A cemetery where dreams have been eulogized and buried, where the wind blows between the gravestones in a howling whisper that chills me to my marrow.

It smells of impotence.

If I put my tongue to it, it would taste of neglect.

Here are the things I am scared of:

1. I am scared that I will start that thing that I start here, then I will abandon it somewhere along the way: Like you, I admire content creators who are consistent – bloggers, vloggers… (I thought there would be something else to add at the end of that list but I have drawn a blank.)

Anyway, I admire content creators who post every Wednesday at 9a.m and continue to post every Wednesday at 9a.m until the sky turns a neon pink. They say will run a blogmas or vlogmas, post every day at 6p.m for the next 17 days, and they nail that goal.

I admire them.

I enjoy the fresh stuff they put out. I swear.

Being consistent about posting their content says plenty about them. Nah uh, it doesn’t say, it shows.

It shows that they are:
– Committed to their hustle
– Aligned to their personal values
– Aware of the professional value (immediate and delayed) of being consistent
– Trustworthy: they can trust themselves to rise up when the occasion calls for it
– Confident of their work ethic
– Treasuring of their online community
– Generally disciplined folk

I am consistent with gazeti because that’s where my bread is buttered. Every Saturday and Thursday I have a story running. Urban culture and home styling, in that order.

I am not consistent here because I can get joy from other creative pursuits.

But… but, this is an online platform that has more longevity than the newspaper that carry my stories every week. Newspapers that are read once, then discarded, to be sold to Naivas (30 bob a kilo!) or to line kitchen cabinets or light jikos for boiling githeri (yelp!).

(And for the record, I also roll my eyes as hard when inconsistent content creators come online with this rhetoric.)

2. I am scared that this blog will highlight my insecurities as a creative: Let me put that in perspective. We have body insecurities, yes? We all do. Everybody does. There is no one person in the world who doesn’t look in the mirror and doesn’t fix their eyes on a part of their body they would want enhanced, compressed or ridded of altogether. And there are wardrobe items, accessories that we stay away from because they highlight those insecurities.

You don’t wear above-the-knee skirts and dresses because they expose your skinny chicken legs. You don’t wear sleeveless t-shirts because your arms wiggle about, as though they have been churned out of 100 per cent butter fat. Newsboy hats make your head look like a cashew nut. Skinny jeans make you look like Spike, the bulldog from ‘Tom and Jerry’.

You catch my drift, yes?

Writing for this blog will expose my insecurities as a writer. It will show what a lazy creative I truly am.

All those problem areas I have as a writer – which I will not tell you about! Argh, I’d rather die! – will be highlighted with every story I write and post here. They will be glaring at me, they will be the only thing I see.

A solitary red blotch on the sleeve of a heavenly-white dress shirt.

3. I am scared that I will fail. That I will commit to posting at, say, 10a.m every Thursday, then by week three it becomes Friday 3p.m, week four it’s Saturday 7p.m and by week five we have fallen over the edge, tittered off into the edge of oblivion.

Do you know what failure looks like? It looks like a neglected blog, to start with.



Another sigh.

(And one sigh for you too, Kipyegon. Because I know you are reading this. Even though I just made you up, you don’t exist. But now I feel like using that name for something else besides a phantom reader. Kipyegon, my love.)

This failure will underscore that I am not:
– Committed to my hustle
– Aligned to my personal values
– Aware of the professional value (immediate and delayed) of being consistent
– Confident of my work ethic
– Trustworthy: I can’t trust myself to rise up when the occasion calls for it
– Treasuring of my online community. (Of you, dear reader! You!)
– Disciplined folk

But, I must do this.

I must face this demon I am scared shitless of.


Because we are in January.

(Well, in the middle of January. Fourteen days in.)

And there is a sense of hope drifting about in the air, shifting from hand to hand.

And we are fresh off the excess of the Holidays.

And we are keen to swallow all the sins our old selves committed.

Most importantly, we are more open to forgiving ourselves and trying again. There is no limit to the number of times you can try. And fail.

So I will try again.

I am giving myself another shot to try at this again.

So here is how this will go.

I will lower my standards down to the floor, down to the bottom of my shoe. Actually, there won’t be any standards at all. Open that window so I can fling all standards out the window.

There we go.

Whatever I will write, I will post.

I will post it no matter how shitty it is. How pointless, frivolous, vain, one-dimensional. How dead it is on arrival.

I don’t know when I will post or how frequently but I will figure that out as soon as this fresh-off-the page story is up on the blog.

The purpose isn’t to become a better creative, but to rebuild that trust in myself that I eroded.

And in that wave of self-reflection, I suppose I should reintroduce myself to you:

Hey. I’m Bett. I am a writer and an author of my self-published book, ‘Should I?’. I am nursing an injury of eroded confidence, an injury I obliviously inflicted on myself over the last 12, 14 months, I’m not sure. I am a little girl right now, knocking at your door with my heart in my hand. [Dwele’s ‘Find a way’ is an apt soundtrack to this moment of nakedness.] Do you think we can try this again? Can you give me another chance to find my way?

Turn the lights on
The bell has rung

Comments (12)

  1. Mercy Kambura

    I’m still here. I’m not Kipyegon, but I’m here 😅. And I know what you mean.

    • Bett

      Hahhha, dhanks, dhanks. Also, you moved to a new URL and you didn’t inform us? Seems I will have to subscribe a new. Let me do that right away.

  2. Karimi

    You are back!

    I get you, I do. BUT, keep posting, keep sharing and I thought about this blog the other day and wondered, what the C? Glad you are back.

    • Bett

      Asante, Karimi. It’s true: you can’t run from yourself.

  3. MisterWafula

    Twende kazi Chemutai!

  4. Mark Wambugu

    I feel like I should copy-paste this whole thing and post it on my blog.
    Anyway, I won’t. But I want to and that’s all that matters.

    Write away.

    • Bett

      And you, Mark, write away!

      PS. How do you get that ‘random info’ thumbtack sticky note on your blog? Looks like something I would steal and shamelessly use here, hehee.

  5. Tuape

    Good to have you back, Bett.

    • Bett

      Good to hear from you, Tuape! Hebu email me with a saucy life update, hahaa. Your emails are always such fun to read.

  6. Moaa

    That you are posting here, this post, today. This is what matters Bett. Glad you are back.

    • Bett

      Kongoi, Moraa :) ❤️

Leave a Reply

Subscribe to our content

Florence Bett-Kinyatti


Columnist Saturday Nation Writer Craft It Author of best-selling ‘SHOULD I?’ and ‘HOW MUCH?’ ~ Guiding word: Overdrive Subscribe to our Newsletter👇🏾 eepurl.com/igmN8P
  • Dear God, 
It’s me again.

I don’t pray as often as I need to, You know that. I don’t kneel by my bed in child-like humility, as Muna does. I don’t whisper a prayer in the morning. Or at noon. Perhaps just in the evening. 

This going-to-church habit is a constant false start. So is reading the Word. 

I’m often guilty but I also know: You and I have a language only we can understand. 

I speak to You through this gift You bestowed upon my Kale shoulders, this gift to write in colour. It’s a gift that sometimes feels like a curse, a burden I have no choice but to pursue. 

Yet other times – most times, actually – it’s the very breath of my essence. Everyday I sit to write, when the words flow from my head and heart through my fingers to the page, I feel You next to me. 

You are here, Lord. Hovering. Lingering. Swooshing about in Your regal robes, like a character from Bridgerton.

Sometimes You get so close I can feel You breathing on my neck and I’m like, ‘Err, God, do You mind, personal space?’

And You chuckle uncomfortably. ‘He-he, of course. Of course.’

I’m here to tell You, Thanks!

I hosted my first in-person event last March, Lord, thank You to all the lovely ladies who granted me their time and full attention. 

I’ve carried them in my heart since and every day, my prayer is that You bring them closer to the life of abundance they each seek. To their own version of wealth. 

I always call them by their name: Becky. Purity. Lindsay. Wangui. Naomi. Shiqow. Mercy. Liz. Winnie. Polly. Nduta. Lynet. 

And Mike. 

Dear Lord, I’m prepping for my next in-person event in June, Inshallah. 

Walk with me as I get there. 

Love always,

  • Highlights from our first-ever in person event hosted by Craft It and @financialfitbit 
Thanks to all the lovely ladies — and gent, hehe — who honoured us with the privilege of their time and attention. And colourful energy. It’s been weeks since and it’s only now that I’m coming down from the high. 

Thank YOU!

🎥 @mikemuthaka 

#craftit #author #MakeYourMoneyMatter #personalfinance #money
  • I am a woman.

I’m strong. I’m brilliant. I’m like a comet shooting across the sky, I’m so bright you have to put on shades to see me.

I’m almost 40, I’m almost fully realising myself as a woman and the power of womanhood I possess.

I’m so powerful that if KPLC connected me to the national grid, I’d power up this country and we’d never have another blackout.

Ho! Ho! Ho!


To recognize and celebrate International Women’s Day today, I’d like to recognize and celebrate eight women.

I have eight things to give away to each of these women:
a) Two tickets to my upcoming event on March 18 with @financialfitbit Theme is ‘Make your money matter’
b) Three autographed copies of my book ‘Should I?’
c) Three autographed copies of my other book ‘How Much?’

To participate:
1. Like this post
2. Tag women who deserve a win of either event ticket or book (tag as many women as you like)
3. Tell us what you’d like her to win and why she deserves the win
4. Make sure your tagged women follow @_craftit and @financialfitbit 

Here are the rules for the giveaway:
— One woman, one win
— Winners will be contacted via DM
— Giveaway closes at the end of this week, Inshallah, on Sunday 12 March
— Only open to people living in Kenya

All the best!

(Swipe right to see the women I’m celebrating.)

#craftit #internationalwomensday
  • My 2022 word of the year was Wholesome. 

Wholesome meant engaging in moderation and in pursuits that didn’t leave me feeling yucky.

An example: there’re weekend nights I’d go out then have too much to drink. On the drive home, I’d tell GB to stop the car every half mile so I could throw up on the side of the road. Then I’d take three working days recovering. 


No more of that nonsense.

Now I have only two doubles of Singleton whiskey and chase it with water. I eat less food and I eat better. I take my supplements. I treat myself to an early bedtime and arise with my body clock, no alarm.

I spend a lot more time hanging with my kids, Muna and Njeeh. 

I buy fewer things. 

I play the piano. 

I created a disciplined routine for my work and take Thursdays off. 

You catch my drift…

Wholesome has become my lifestyle. 

(By the way, I was asked, ‘Where does this word-of-the-year come from, Bett?’ I don’t know about other people but for me, the words present themselves when I’m journaling. My spirit tells me what it needs; I must be still enough to listen and brave enough to obey.)

My word for 2023 is Overdrive.

My two books have unlocked new opportunities for me as a writer and creative. As an urban brand. I’d honestly not foreseen them. 

I know that if I adjust my sails to where the wind is blowing, these opportunities will translate to wealth.

Last Friday, I listed all the work I’m already doing and all the new opportunities – potential and realised – knocking at my door.

I asked myself, ‘What am I taking up here and what am I dropping?’

The response, ‘None – we go into overdrive and smartly pursue them all.’

#craftit #urbanguide
  • Years ago, my best friend said to me, ‘Bett, we’re almost 40 – forget makeup, let’s take care of our skin instead.’

I had to laugh because this was coming from Terry. Terry my Kisii pal, this fine gyal with skin the colour of honey, the only practising SDA in my circle. 

Terry had spent her 20s and early 30s sleek with Arimis. That’s right, the milking jelly with a lactating cow on its logo. 

Arimis addressed all her skin pickles back then. It was her problem fixer. Her Olivia Pope. It’s the one thing that always said, It’s handled.

Now here she was preaching to us about a consistent skincare regimen in the AM and PM.


It wasn’t until Terry shared her selfies on our girls WhatsApp group that I stopped laughing. It wasn’t until we stood next her – and took these selfies – that I reeally stopped laughing: Terry’s skin was youthful and toned, plump. Hydrated. Moistured but not shiny. 

It looked like it had been kissed by the Greek goddess of radiance. 

So we gathered around her feet and said, ‘Forgive us, master. We are ready now. Teach us everything you know.’

She did. 

Terry and I now spend plenty of time before work and before bed squeezing out little portions of expensive skincare products from expensive tubes, we layer them on our face in a calculated measure.

This serum here is for the circles under my eyes and the fine lines around my mouth.

Turns out I’ve been giving away too much of my face: I’ve been looking too hard, laughing too easily.

I’ll have to spend the next year into my 40s with my eyes half shut and laughing little. I'll have a resting bitch face.

Don’t blame me, blame the retinol.

And age.

#craftit #urbanguide #urbangirl
  • I’m Bett. I’m the author of your favourite books about money. I’m hosting an in-person event in March, Inshallah: This is my personal invite to you.

#craftit #moneymaker #moneyinkenya
  • I am hosting my first money event this March, Inhsallah. It’s the first of quarterly events I have planned for the year. 

(Give me a moment here so I pull myself together long enough to write this. I’m smiling very hard right now, ha-ha, I look like a donkey.)


The event will be in-person. On a Saturday morning, a loose three hours which, I am certain, you’d have burned on some other pursuit you couldn’t account for later. (I’d probably be oiling the hinges of a squeaky door or decluttering my sock drawer.)

My guest host for this edition is Lynet Kyalo. 

Lynet is a personal finance coach under her brand @financialfitbit She also hosts @getyourbagrightpodcast 

Buy your tickets from our Market.

Early bird tickets are discounted until the end of this month.

Limited slots available. 

#craftit #millenialmoney #moneyevent #moneymaker
  • Sometimes I sit down and read my own book. 

Odd, huh?

Reading my own stories is like an out-of-body experience. Or getting introduced to myself again. An outward journey inward.

It’s fascinating.

I also read because I need to improve my writing for my next project.

We call them the Elements of Craft: things like sentence structure and punctuation, word placement, story length etc, they all inform your reading experience.

This is what makes the book easy to read, and has you turning the pages.

Cop your autographed copy and #betteryourmoney 

#craftit #howmuch #millenialmoney #moneymaker

Seraphinite AcceleratorOptimized by Seraphinite Accelerator
Turns on site high speed to be attractive for people and search engines.