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S is for Spectacular

Remember a few weeks ago, when I told you that GB and I are embarking on an eating-better challenge?

Remember the ‘Why?’ It’s because GB and I are both almost 40. Also because I regularly get crippling headaches that are caused by what I eat, GB’s ballooning weight is spiralling out of our control.

Remember the eating consultant, the South Sudanese chap, the spiritual and self-aware man who was barrelling towards lifestyle diseases before he pulled himself out, now he guides others to safe ground?

Remember him?

Remember how I told you that under his guidance, GB and I would cut out all the delicious food from our diet, food that is gradually killing us?

We would cut out wheat, red meat, vegetable oil, normal salt, sugar, margarine, processed food like sausages and burgers. We would replace it with sorghum, millet, white meat, ghee, sea salt, honey, moringa and a host of other super foods.

The plan was for us to eat better for the next 30 days then take stock after – my crippling headaches should have gone away, GB’s ballooning weight should be under control.

After that, we would go back to eating food from our old diet.

However – and this is important – we would quite likely find ourselves eating small regulated portions, sometimes we would even ignore certain foods because our cleansed bodies would reject anything that’s not wholesome and healthy.

That was the plan.

Heavens, it was the plan!

Well, I am here to tell you that we are two weeks in to our challenge and that GB and I are failing.

We’re not just failing, dear reader, we’re failing spectacularly.

We’re still eating as we used to, although now the food has been seasoned with guilt and shame. A lot of it. It makes the food hard to swallow.

The only thing that has changed in our diet is that we’re drinking the concoction our eating consultant recommended, we drink it before bed. It’s a super food powder whose main ingredient is sorghum.

We mix the powder with warm water and a teaspoon of cayenne pepper. It’s quite spicy and unpleasant but it makes us feel less bad about how spectacularly we’re failing.

The concoction is supposed to do… something to our bodies, I don’t know, we can’t see the change because it’s undone by our regular diet.

There are many excuses why GB and I are failing spectacularly at this, there is only one real reason: it’s because we have not rewired our brains and adjusted our mind-sets, it’s like putting new wine into old wineskins then getting surprised when it starts to spill.

Let me take you back to our initial conversation with our eating consultant: we had a lengthy conversation, which he complemented with slides. A show and tell affair. We even had sorghum uji while he spoke. It was the equivalent of test driving the car you intend to buy.

There was a part where he said that if we really want to nail this, this eating-better challenge, that we must change our daily habits.

“You must install the software!” he said. “Update your programming! Hack into your primal brain!”

Smart urbanite like you, I’m sure you already know, our brain is made up of three brains. We have our outer brain, middle brain and inner brain.

Our inner brain is the reptilian brain. (It’s also called the lizard brain.)

Our reptilian brain is the smallest and most primitive of our three brains, it’s a primal and animalistic brain that perceives the world in black and white – there are only two states of being to it. Good or bad. Pain or pleasure. Light or darkness. Love or hate. Fight or flight. Easy or difficult.

If you want to take control of your life and change your habits – no matter if you want to lose weight or run a marathon, quit smoking or abstain from sex, earn more money or improve your self-esteem – you must appeal to your reptilian brain, you must learn how to trigger it.

Your reptilian brain is where you install the updated software that will set you on the path to taking control of your life. It’s where the magic happens.

“How do we install the updated software?” GB and I asked desperately between mouthfuls of uji. “How do we hack into our primal reptilian brain?”

Our eating consultant shared three tips.

Tip #one: We must express gratitude by repeating this mantra 200 times a day. ‘I am eating healthy. Thank you, Jesus. I am eating healthy.’

Tip #two: We must spend at least an hour every day gathering knowledge on eating healthy. We must read books and websites on the Internet, watch the right YouTube channels, listen to the right podcasts.

He said, “Gather so much knowledge that you become an eating-healthy expert.”

Tip #three: We must make small active steps of progress every day. For me, for example, today is Wednesday, it’s the day we have chapos in our house for supper.

Instead of eating four chapos, I should show my reptilian brain that wheat causes my crippling headaches then only eat one chapati. OK, maybe just two then. Next week, I should promise to eat none then see my word through.

Those are the three tips.

They are easy to put to work, right? Easy peasy… lemon squeezy.

It’s embarrassing that GB and I crashed our test car before we had even returned from the test drive.

I think feel a headache coming.

~

An edited version of this story first ran in the Saturday Nation on June 17, 2023 . It ran under my ‘Culture’ column.

Photo by Ion Fet on Unsplash

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@_craftit
Florence Bett-Kinyatti

@_craftit

Columnist Saturday Nation Writer Craft It Author of best-selling ‘SHOULD I?’ and ‘HOW MUCH?’ ~ Guiding word: Overdrive Subscribe to our Newsletter👇🏾 eepurl.com/igmN8P
  • Dear God, 
It’s me again.

I don’t pray as often as I need to, You know that. I don’t kneel by my bed in child-like humility, as Muna does. I don’t whisper a prayer in the morning. Or at noon. Perhaps just in the evening. 

This going-to-church habit is a constant false start. So is reading the Word. 

I’m often guilty but I also know: You and I have a language only we can understand. 

I speak to You through this gift You bestowed upon my Kale shoulders, this gift to write in colour. It’s a gift that sometimes feels like a curse, a burden I have no choice but to pursue. 

Yet other times – most times, actually – it’s the very breath of my essence. Everyday I sit to write, when the words flow from my head and heart through my fingers to the page, I feel You next to me. 

You are here, Lord. Hovering. Lingering. Swooshing about in Your regal robes, like a character from Bridgerton.

Sometimes You get so close I can feel You breathing on my neck and I’m like, ‘Err, God, do You mind, personal space?’

And You chuckle uncomfortably. ‘He-he, of course. Of course.’

I’m here to tell You, Thanks!

I hosted my first in-person event last March, Lord, thank You to all the lovely ladies who granted me their time and full attention. 

I’ve carried them in my heart since and every day, my prayer is that You bring them closer to the life of abundance they each seek. To their own version of wealth. 

I always call them by their name: Becky. Purity. Lindsay. Wangui. Naomi. Shiqow. Mercy. Liz. Winnie. Polly. Nduta. Lynet. 

And Mike. 

Dear Lord, I’m prepping for my next in-person event in June, Inshallah. 

Walk with me as I get there. 

Love always,
Me

#craftit
  • Highlights from our first-ever in person event hosted by Craft It and @financialfitbit 
Thanks to all the lovely ladies — and gent, hehe — who honoured us with the privilege of their time and attention. And colourful energy. It’s been weeks since and it’s only now that I’m coming down from the high. 

Thank YOU!

🎥 @mikemuthaka 

#craftit #author #MakeYourMoneyMatter #personalfinance #money
  • I am a woman.

I’m strong. I’m brilliant. I’m like a comet shooting across the sky, I’m so bright you have to put on shades to see me.

I’m almost 40, I’m almost fully realising myself as a woman and the power of womanhood I possess.

I’m so powerful that if KPLC connected me to the national grid, I’d power up this country and we’d never have another blackout.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Anyway.

To recognize and celebrate International Women’s Day today, I’d like to recognize and celebrate eight women.

I have eight things to give away to each of these women:
a) Two tickets to my upcoming event on March 18 with @financialfitbit Theme is ‘Make your money matter’
b) Three autographed copies of my book ‘Should I?’
c) Three autographed copies of my other book ‘How Much?’

To participate:
1. Like this post
2. Tag women who deserve a win of either event ticket or book (tag as many women as you like)
3. Tell us what you’d like her to win and why she deserves the win
4. Make sure your tagged women follow @_craftit and @financialfitbit 

Here are the rules for the giveaway:
— One woman, one win
— Winners will be contacted via DM
— Giveaway closes at the end of this week, Inshallah, on Sunday 12 March
— Only open to people living in Kenya

All the best!

(Swipe right to see the women I’m celebrating.)

#craftit #internationalwomensday
  • My 2022 word of the year was Wholesome. 

Wholesome meant engaging in moderation and in pursuits that didn’t leave me feeling yucky.

An example: there’re weekend nights I’d go out then have too much to drink. On the drive home, I’d tell GB to stop the car every half mile so I could throw up on the side of the road. Then I’d take three working days recovering. 

Ha-ha.

No more of that nonsense.

Now I have only two doubles of Singleton whiskey and chase it with water. I eat less food and I eat better. I take my supplements. I treat myself to an early bedtime and arise with my body clock, no alarm.

I spend a lot more time hanging with my kids, Muna and Njeeh. 

I buy fewer things. 

I play the piano. 

I created a disciplined routine for my work and take Thursdays off. 

You catch my drift…

Wholesome has become my lifestyle. 

(By the way, I was asked, ‘Where does this word-of-the-year come from, Bett?’ I don’t know about other people but for me, the words present themselves when I’m journaling. My spirit tells me what it needs; I must be still enough to listen and brave enough to obey.)

My word for 2023 is Overdrive.

My two books have unlocked new opportunities for me as a writer and creative. As an urban brand. I’d honestly not foreseen them. 

I know that if I adjust my sails to where the wind is blowing, these opportunities will translate to wealth.

Last Friday, I listed all the work I’m already doing and all the new opportunities – potential and realised – knocking at my door.

I asked myself, ‘What am I taking up here and what am I dropping?’

The response, ‘None – we go into overdrive and smartly pursue them all.’

#craftit #urbanguide
  • Years ago, my best friend said to me, ‘Bett, we’re almost 40 – forget makeup, let’s take care of our skin instead.’

I had to laugh because this was coming from Terry. Terry my Kisii pal, this fine gyal with skin the colour of honey, the only practising SDA in my circle. 

Terry had spent her 20s and early 30s sleek with Arimis. That’s right, the milking jelly with a lactating cow on its logo. 

Arimis addressed all her skin pickles back then. It was her problem fixer. Her Olivia Pope. It’s the one thing that always said, It’s handled.

Now here she was preaching to us about a consistent skincare regimen in the AM and PM.

Ha!

It wasn’t until Terry shared her selfies on our girls WhatsApp group that I stopped laughing. It wasn’t until we stood next her – and took these selfies – that I reeally stopped laughing: Terry’s skin was youthful and toned, plump. Hydrated. Moistured but not shiny. 

It looked like it had been kissed by the Greek goddess of radiance. 

So we gathered around her feet and said, ‘Forgive us, master. We are ready now. Teach us everything you know.’

She did. 

Terry and I now spend plenty of time before work and before bed squeezing out little portions of expensive skincare products from expensive tubes, we layer them on our face in a calculated measure.

This serum here is for the circles under my eyes and the fine lines around my mouth.

Turns out I’ve been giving away too much of my face: I’ve been looking too hard, laughing too easily.

I’ll have to spend the next year into my 40s with my eyes half shut and laughing little. I'll have a resting bitch face.

Don’t blame me, blame the retinol.

And age.

#craftit #urbanguide #urbangirl
  • I’m Bett. I’m the author of your favourite books about money. I’m hosting an in-person event in March, Inshallah: This is my personal invite to you.

#craftit #moneymaker #moneyinkenya
  • I am hosting my first money event this March, Inhsallah. It’s the first of quarterly events I have planned for the year. 

(Give me a moment here so I pull myself together long enough to write this. I’m smiling very hard right now, ha-ha, I look like a donkey.)

(Ahem.)

The event will be in-person. On a Saturday morning, a loose three hours which, I am certain, you’d have burned on some other pursuit you couldn’t account for later. (I’d probably be oiling the hinges of a squeaky door or decluttering my sock drawer.)

My guest host for this edition is Lynet Kyalo. 

Lynet is a personal finance coach under her brand @financialfitbit She also hosts @getyourbagrightpodcast 

Buy your tickets from our Market.

Early bird tickets are discounted until the end of this month.

Limited slots available. 

#craftit #millenialmoney #moneyevent #moneymaker
  • Sometimes I sit down and read my own book. 

Odd, huh?

Reading my own stories is like an out-of-body experience. Or getting introduced to myself again. An outward journey inward.

It’s fascinating.

I also read because I need to improve my writing for my next project.

We call them the Elements of Craft: things like sentence structure and punctuation, word placement, story length etc, they all inform your reading experience.

This is what makes the book easy to read, and has you turning the pages.

Cop your autographed copy and #betteryourmoney 

#craftit #howmuch #millenialmoney #moneymaker
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