What I’ve later learned


My ultimate brand of the femme fatale is a rebel. What pop culture calls the bad boys and bad girls. I’m drawn more to the bad girls, bad boys are fickle and vague. The bad girl, I’m drawn to her inexact mix of stubborn, nerdy, selfish and a set of personal values she’s tattooed in a string of sentences around her waist. They always say that the good girls don’t get the corner office. Well, neither does the bad girl. She doesn’t get it because she doesn’t want it. She never did. The bad girl is in a job she can’t be fired from – she’s battling it out in a labour of love. Fighting it to the death.

And now that we’re here, that popular bedtime book – ‘Goodnight Stories For Rebel Girls’ – is a misnomer. First it suggests the book is for girls and should be read only to girls, not to boys. Second the preposition ‘for’ shows why you must select the right words when telling folk what you want to say. Communication 101, if you may. The book should really be titled, ‘Goodnight Stories About Rebel Girls’.

Have a personal style. It makes it easier for your pals to surprise you with a gift item for your wardrobe.

Don’t ever strike up conversation with your crush.

It counts for nothing that you still have silver studs you bought in 2003, from The Woman Shop at Sarit Centre. Heirlooms are really the posh alter egos of hoarding. This doesn’t apply to photos, though, hoard away. Especially the printed photographs you keep in your wallet or in photo albums to show your guests. Also the ones you blow up and ask June of Frames Kenya to print and mount to hang up on your walls.

“The idea of Oktoberfest is to create a buzz around the world’s favourite drink: BEER!” This buzz never hits Nairobi. I’m not going to ask why.

What’s the urban rule on eyebrow piercings? Rather, at what stage of your life does it stop seeming like a desperate attempt to hang on to your youth?

‘Abstract: The Art of Design’ is the best best series airing on Netflix.

Ask God to grant you grit. Of course you’ll also Him for a pure heart and patience and a sense of humour and the ability to always wear pants that fit you properly, that plus all those other good things He gifts. But ask for more grit. Because grit is more important than talent and IQ. Because grit is a special combination of passion and perseverance and hanging on even when it’s painful, boring, frustrating, sucky, demanding for more effort and more resilience.

I’m inspired by the grit behind the public performance, not by the performance. (After he cracked the Berlin record and became the greatest marathoner of all time, New York Times did a cover of Eliud Kipchoge. Eliud Kipchoge embodies all what I’m saying here. Maybe I should just have written Eliud Kipchoge and left it at that.)

Fiona Thrust (hihhii) says that “to feel aroused is to feel alive. Having great sex is like taking in huge lungfuls of fresh air, essential to your body, essential to your health, and essential to your life.” She authored ‘Naked and Sexual’. Read it.

Don’t complain about how we’re overtaxed as an economy. That’s a tired song. How about, instead, you master the techniques of avoiding tax and screwing the government of Kenya? Dance to a tune the piper didn’t even know he’s playing.

There’s always that one guy at the bar who seems to be having a grander time than anybody else present. A guy who’s dancing alone, terribly and pulling one major gyrating move with only his waist. One move for all songs. Hahaa. I want to be that guy. Be that guy.

Don’t feel so horrible about not figuring it out yet – everybody’s winging it. Everybody.

It’s an urban mystery that you get married and you stop fooling around on your couch. Or any couch for that matter, not even the couch in a sleazy bar. Where’s the fun in being married if a couch isn’t part of your love story?

‘Shark Tank’ has all the answers to all the questions you’ve ever had about side-hustles. Answers to questions like, is it a better idea to offer a home service to clean rugs and furniture (like Steve of Ecowash does) or am I better importing for resale the machinery that’ll clean those rugs? Must I understand basic accounting, so they’ll take me seriously when I throw terms around like ‘cash flow’ and ‘overheads’ and ‘SKUs’? What is the market really buying into? Do I push sales through my IG page (not Facebook, no one on Facebook actually buys stuff) or do I ask Tusky’s to stock me? What’s in it for them in Uber Eats? Or Jumia Travel? What fool will slide me the brown envelope that’ll fire the engines of my idea and get it airborne?

I’m more likely to pick up Wangari Maathai’s autobiography than Michelle Obama’s. I haven’t searched for either. Yet.

Have barely enough money in your pocket to survive. It’ll teach you the value of every shilling. Excess is a young man’s game.

It’s endearing, vloggers who sit in front of the camera with no makeup on. Not even their eyebrows. I suppose it’s what P.D James meant when she said, Absolute nakedness is intrusive, confusing to the senses. Paradoxically, it both reveals and diminishes identity.

New parents of Nairobi, please, we’ve reached the urban quota of naming our baby girls ‘Ella’ and our boys ‘Ryan’. It’s 2019 already. How about we surprise the good folk at City Hall with the unusual names we’ll pull out of our hats, aye? The guiding principle isn’t Google – Google doesn’t belong to us Africans, they know nothing about our African names and what they mean to us. The guiding principle is the punk at the birth certificate office and your mother-in-law – if he can spell the name as it should be and she can pronounce it right, you’re just about there.

Create your own hype, then milk the hell out of that hype. Don’t believe the hype other people create for you. It’s a trap. It’s fleeting and translucent and ill-defined. You let them and they’ll determine how/when they’ll pull your marionette strings.

You can’t unring the bell.

Romantic relationships: He wears the pants. She wears the kilts. Period. 

Your family – blood, work, business or friends family – is proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. They love you no matter what.

January, you’ll hit the streets of your hood to jog in the mornings. Those mornings, your mind clears and your thoughts crystallize and your energies syncs to your soul. It’s beautiful. You’ll become a better person just for this hour of your morning runs. You’ll also lose the excess Holiday-bingeing weight and your pants, little by little, will begin to float about your thighs and hips. And your ass, God your ass, your ass will waste away. This is the point where you put a pause to the running and pay a professional trainer in a gym to rip you up. What has happened is, you’ve lost your fat mass – yeey to that – you now need to get into some weight training to build up muscle mass. Strangely enough, adding weight doesn’t always mean becoming too chubby to fit into your pants, it also means tighter gluts.

You can never have too many pairs of brown boots and ripped denims. If it speaks to you, let it speak to you in a thousand different voices.

You become a couple and you start dating other couples. And it’s all good. What isn’t good is, can you remain friends with your ex couple’s ex?

Kindles were built for insomnia. There’s little else can you do under the covers at 3 a.m. that won’t wake the snoring panda sleeping next to you.

The greatest evil resides in the heart of man.

Don’t overegg the pudding. I’ve run these ‘What I’ve Learned’ posts for about a month now. It wasn’t my intention, I swear. It surprised me what I found when I went down the rabbit hole. And isn’t that where all the fun resides anyway? I liked where it was going so I blindly ran with it. I feel that I’m just about to begin overegging it. So I’ll end it here. This is the last of it. I promise.

What I’ve also learned
And now, something, uhm, small to wrap up 2018

Comments (6)

    • Bett

      Thank you so much, Lillian!

      Happy Holidays! See you here in 2019, Inshallah. xoxox

    • Bett

      Thanks, Muindi. And thanks for hanging here and leaving your comments.

      Happy Holidays, see you in the 2019, Inshallah! xoxox

  1. Mutuku

    This series has been so good. Thank you for the “Abstract: the art of design” recommendation. It is honestly the best thing on netflix at the moment.

    • Bett

      And thank you for being here, Mutuku!

      Happy Holidays, see you in 2019, Inshallah. xoxo

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Florence Bett-Kinyatti


Columnist Saturday Nation Writer Craft It Author of best-selling ‘SHOULD I?’ and ‘HOW MUCH?’ ~ Guiding word: Overdrive Subscribe to our Newsletter👇🏾 eepurl.com/igmN8P
  • Dear God, 
It’s me again.

I don’t pray as often as I need to, You know that. I don’t kneel by my bed in child-like humility, as Muna does. I don’t whisper a prayer in the morning. Or at noon. Perhaps just in the evening. 

This going-to-church habit is a constant false start. So is reading the Word. 

I’m often guilty but I also know: You and I have a language only we can understand. 

I speak to You through this gift You bestowed upon my Kale shoulders, this gift to write in colour. It’s a gift that sometimes feels like a curse, a burden I have no choice but to pursue. 

Yet other times – most times, actually – it’s the very breath of my essence. Everyday I sit to write, when the words flow from my head and heart through my fingers to the page, I feel You next to me. 

You are here, Lord. Hovering. Lingering. Swooshing about in Your regal robes, like a character from Bridgerton.

Sometimes You get so close I can feel You breathing on my neck and I’m like, ‘Err, God, do You mind, personal space?’

And You chuckle uncomfortably. ‘He-he, of course. Of course.’

I’m here to tell You, Thanks!

I hosted my first in-person event last March, Lord, thank You to all the lovely ladies who granted me their time and full attention. 

I’ve carried them in my heart since and every day, my prayer is that You bring them closer to the life of abundance they each seek. To their own version of wealth. 

I always call them by their name: Becky. Purity. Lindsay. Wangui. Naomi. Shiqow. Mercy. Liz. Winnie. Polly. Nduta. Lynet. 

And Mike. 

Dear Lord, I’m prepping for my next in-person event in June, Inshallah. 

Walk with me as I get there. 

Love always,

  • Highlights from our first-ever in person event hosted by Craft It and @financialfitbit 
Thanks to all the lovely ladies — and gent, hehe — who honoured us with the privilege of their time and attention. And colourful energy. It’s been weeks since and it’s only now that I’m coming down from the high. 

Thank YOU!

🎥 @mikemuthaka 

#craftit #author #MakeYourMoneyMatter #personalfinance #money
  • I am a woman.

I’m strong. I’m brilliant. I’m like a comet shooting across the sky, I’m so bright you have to put on shades to see me.

I’m almost 40, I’m almost fully realising myself as a woman and the power of womanhood I possess.

I’m so powerful that if KPLC connected me to the national grid, I’d power up this country and we’d never have another blackout.

Ho! Ho! Ho!


To recognize and celebrate International Women’s Day today, I’d like to recognize and celebrate eight women.

I have eight things to give away to each of these women:
a) Two tickets to my upcoming event on March 18 with @financialfitbit Theme is ‘Make your money matter’
b) Three autographed copies of my book ‘Should I?’
c) Three autographed copies of my other book ‘How Much?’

To participate:
1. Like this post
2. Tag women who deserve a win of either event ticket or book (tag as many women as you like)
3. Tell us what you’d like her to win and why she deserves the win
4. Make sure your tagged women follow @_craftit and @financialfitbit 

Here are the rules for the giveaway:
— One woman, one win
— Winners will be contacted via DM
— Giveaway closes at the end of this week, Inshallah, on Sunday 12 March
— Only open to people living in Kenya

All the best!

(Swipe right to see the women I’m celebrating.)

#craftit #internationalwomensday
  • My 2022 word of the year was Wholesome. 

Wholesome meant engaging in moderation and in pursuits that didn’t leave me feeling yucky.

An example: there’re weekend nights I’d go out then have too much to drink. On the drive home, I’d tell GB to stop the car every half mile so I could throw up on the side of the road. Then I’d take three working days recovering. 


No more of that nonsense.

Now I have only two doubles of Singleton whiskey and chase it with water. I eat less food and I eat better. I take my supplements. I treat myself to an early bedtime and arise with my body clock, no alarm.

I spend a lot more time hanging with my kids, Muna and Njeeh. 

I buy fewer things. 

I play the piano. 

I created a disciplined routine for my work and take Thursdays off. 

You catch my drift…

Wholesome has become my lifestyle. 

(By the way, I was asked, ‘Where does this word-of-the-year come from, Bett?’ I don’t know about other people but for me, the words present themselves when I’m journaling. My spirit tells me what it needs; I must be still enough to listen and brave enough to obey.)

My word for 2023 is Overdrive.

My two books have unlocked new opportunities for me as a writer and creative. As an urban brand. I’d honestly not foreseen them. 

I know that if I adjust my sails to where the wind is blowing, these opportunities will translate to wealth.

Last Friday, I listed all the work I’m already doing and all the new opportunities – potential and realised – knocking at my door.

I asked myself, ‘What am I taking up here and what am I dropping?’

The response, ‘None – we go into overdrive and smartly pursue them all.’

#craftit #urbanguide
  • Years ago, my best friend said to me, ‘Bett, we’re almost 40 – forget makeup, let’s take care of our skin instead.’

I had to laugh because this was coming from Terry. Terry my Kisii pal, this fine gyal with skin the colour of honey, the only practising SDA in my circle. 

Terry had spent her 20s and early 30s sleek with Arimis. That’s right, the milking jelly with a lactating cow on its logo. 

Arimis addressed all her skin pickles back then. It was her problem fixer. Her Olivia Pope. It’s the one thing that always said, It’s handled.

Now here she was preaching to us about a consistent skincare regimen in the AM and PM.


It wasn’t until Terry shared her selfies on our girls WhatsApp group that I stopped laughing. It wasn’t until we stood next her – and took these selfies – that I reeally stopped laughing: Terry’s skin was youthful and toned, plump. Hydrated. Moistured but not shiny. 

It looked like it had been kissed by the Greek goddess of radiance. 

So we gathered around her feet and said, ‘Forgive us, master. We are ready now. Teach us everything you know.’

She did. 

Terry and I now spend plenty of time before work and before bed squeezing out little portions of expensive skincare products from expensive tubes, we layer them on our face in a calculated measure.

This serum here is for the circles under my eyes and the fine lines around my mouth.

Turns out I’ve been giving away too much of my face: I’ve been looking too hard, laughing too easily.

I’ll have to spend the next year into my 40s with my eyes half shut and laughing little. I'll have a resting bitch face.

Don’t blame me, blame the retinol.

And age.

#craftit #urbanguide #urbangirl
  • I’m Bett. I’m the author of your favourite books about money. I’m hosting an in-person event in March, Inshallah: This is my personal invite to you.

#craftit #moneymaker #moneyinkenya
  • I am hosting my first money event this March, Inhsallah. It’s the first of quarterly events I have planned for the year. 

(Give me a moment here so I pull myself together long enough to write this. I’m smiling very hard right now, ha-ha, I look like a donkey.)


The event will be in-person. On a Saturday morning, a loose three hours which, I am certain, you’d have burned on some other pursuit you couldn’t account for later. (I’d probably be oiling the hinges of a squeaky door or decluttering my sock drawer.)

My guest host for this edition is Lynet Kyalo. 

Lynet is a personal finance coach under her brand @financialfitbit She also hosts @getyourbagrightpodcast 

Buy your tickets from our Market.

Early bird tickets are discounted until the end of this month.

Limited slots available. 

#craftit #millenialmoney #moneyevent #moneymaker
  • Sometimes I sit down and read my own book. 

Odd, huh?

Reading my own stories is like an out-of-body experience. Or getting introduced to myself again. An outward journey inward.

It’s fascinating.

I also read because I need to improve my writing for my next project.

We call them the Elements of Craft: things like sentence structure and punctuation, word placement, story length etc, they all inform your reading experience.

This is what makes the book easy to read, and has you turning the pages.

Cop your autographed copy and #betteryourmoney 

#craftit #howmuch #millenialmoney #moneymaker

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