Oversized Diors


My shrink told me I must create time to play. “What do you mean ‘time to play’?” I asked.

She exhaled. “We’ve been conditioned to work, work, work. But if someone stops you and asks, ‘what are you working so hard for?’ you won’t know what to say. Sometimes it’s in a panic. Most times it’s because that’s what we’re expected to do.”

She let her words simmer. “Let me share something personal with you, Bett. There are clients who pay me three times what you pay just so they can have these two hours with me. They feel they’re getting real value for their money.

“I’m only able to give them this value because I’ve created time for myself to play. Women are wired differently from men, that’s why we need it more.”

There are all these technical formulas about personal finance, formulas that make you feel like you’re chewing glass. A formula for financial stability is Income + emergency fund = Living expenses.

A formula for your personal net worth. It says Your net worth = Total assets – total liabilities.

A formula for how much to save: 50 per cent needs + 30 per cent wants = 80 per cent spending.

Here’s a more colourful, more fun one: Work hard + Play harder = More money.

Work hard + Play harder = More money.

By the way, yes – I’ve been seeing a shrink.

I see her for therapy and, much to my surprise, for career and life coaching. I suffered a miscarriage back in May. It’s the third miscarriage I’ve suffered – one before our toddler Muna, two after.

I figured that three times in would turn me into an expert on coping. It hasn’t. It never will. You can never become at expert at knowing how to cry.

I really thought I was doing fine. I returned to my regular routines two weeks after leaving the hospital. GB doesn’t dwell on events from the past you can’t change. He moves on much quicker than I do. I followed suit, choosing to ignore the emptiness. Problem is, I’m not made like him. I don’t deal with loss the way he does. We’re individuals who see life through difference shades – he’s drawn to black Ray-Bans, I much prefer oversized Diors.

You also know how sneaky grief is? Triggers had me bursting into stubborn tears in the oddest of places, without warning – beaming parents on Instagram taking their swaddled newborn home. Invites to a WhatsApp baby shower group. Those tiny adorable baby clothes in Toi Market.

Early August, I told myself, “Chick, you’re lying to yourself. Go see a professional to guide you in unknotting these emotions that are inking your soul with darkness.”

Playing – instead of working – honestly sounds like a privilege you can’t afford.  Like it’s a waste of time. Time you’d have spent elsewhere earning an extra buck. What we don’t realise is that we undo ourselves – as women – when we don’t give ourselves room to breathe and take stock.

Refusing to play is like saying you can’t stop to fuel your car’s empty tank because you’re in a hurry.

Refusing to play is like saying you can’t stop to fuel your car’s empty tank because you’re in a hurry.

I’m a freelance writer so my I decide how my hours are spent. After my shrink gave me permission and said that it’s OK to play, I told myself, “Then let’s fucking play.”

I work only four and a half days a day week. I don’t work most of Thursday; that means no sitting infront of my laptop or sitting infront of someone hearing their story, for a story. If I must, I work strictly half day. Strictly. Until 1 p.m. I spend most of the day playing.

On some days, I go home and catch some inspiring shows on Netflix. I especially like ‘Chef’s Table’ and ‘Abstract: The Art of Design’ (earlier seasons, though). Now I’m catching ‘Interior Design Masters’.

On other days I’ll read a book. Or have whiskey at my local while listening to 90s music.

Evenings I’ll catch a movie big screen with GB. Last week we watched ‘Joker’; there are scenes in there that still haunt me to this moment. Week before that I caught ‘Hustlers’ alone. The storyline was thin but it made for mindless entertainment. And how hot does J Lo look at 50? Daaang. They’re constantly telling us to cut wheat and sugar from our diets and focus more on weight training than cardio. Well, maybe we’d listen if they made us see more of J Lo pole dancing in some stringy baby doll.

I also got houseplants. I thought caring for them would be a way for Muna and I to bond, but she sits on the succulent and tears the leaves off the fern. Ha-ha. Watching the geranium and spider plant flower calms my soul and teaches me the patience of growth. The peace lily gives me…  peace. Cheesy, I know. The snake plant is showing me what it means to care – and love – from a distance.

Window-shopping also feeds my obsession for those nice things I desire. I collect prices while at it, for my budgeting. Last Thursday I shopped for fabrics for curtains and sheers. I want to upgrade the ones in our bedrooms. I spent hours making my selections then the shop attendant drafted me a quote. I whistled like a farmer from Kaplong – the damn things cost about as much as rent for an apartment in LA. I know now to work harder next month so I can afford them.

Thursday is also my day to dream more and imagine more. Our reality is borne from our own imaginations. Our own thoughts. I look at my bank balance and Sacco savings, and ask myself what resources I have within my reach to double those balances by next quarter. I brainstorm ideas for projects and sidehustles, for what more I can sell to Kenyans.

I dream of being comfortable, and living a life of gratitude and abundance. A life where the lines between play and work are so blurred, they become one and the same thing.

An edited version of this story first ran in my personal finance column in the Saturday Magazine.

The power of broke
Dial my heart

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Florence Bett-Kinyatti


Columnist Saturday Nation Writer Craft It Author of best-selling ‘SHOULD I?’ and ‘HOW MUCH?’ ~ Guiding word: Overdrive Subscribe to our Newsletter👇🏾 eepurl.com/igmN8P
  • Dear God, 
It’s me again.

I don’t pray as often as I need to, You know that. I don’t kneel by my bed in child-like humility, as Muna does. I don’t whisper a prayer in the morning. Or at noon. Perhaps just in the evening. 

This going-to-church habit is a constant false start. So is reading the Word. 

I’m often guilty but I also know: You and I have a language only we can understand. 

I speak to You through this gift You bestowed upon my Kale shoulders, this gift to write in colour. It’s a gift that sometimes feels like a curse, a burden I have no choice but to pursue. 

Yet other times – most times, actually – it’s the very breath of my essence. Everyday I sit to write, when the words flow from my head and heart through my fingers to the page, I feel You next to me. 

You are here, Lord. Hovering. Lingering. Swooshing about in Your regal robes, like a character from Bridgerton.

Sometimes You get so close I can feel You breathing on my neck and I’m like, ‘Err, God, do You mind, personal space?’

And You chuckle uncomfortably. ‘He-he, of course. Of course.’

I’m here to tell You, Thanks!

I hosted my first in-person event last March, Lord, thank You to all the lovely ladies who granted me their time and full attention. 

I’ve carried them in my heart since and every day, my prayer is that You bring them closer to the life of abundance they each seek. To their own version of wealth. 

I always call them by their name: Becky. Purity. Lindsay. Wangui. Naomi. Shiqow. Mercy. Liz. Winnie. Polly. Nduta. Lynet. 

And Mike. 

Dear Lord, I’m prepping for my next in-person event in June, Inshallah. 

Walk with me as I get there. 

Love always,

  • Highlights from our first-ever in person event hosted by Craft It and @financialfitbit 
Thanks to all the lovely ladies — and gent, hehe — who honoured us with the privilege of their time and attention. And colourful energy. It’s been weeks since and it’s only now that I’m coming down from the high. 

Thank YOU!

🎥 @mikemuthaka 

#craftit #author #MakeYourMoneyMatter #personalfinance #money
  • I am a woman.

I’m strong. I’m brilliant. I’m like a comet shooting across the sky, I’m so bright you have to put on shades to see me.

I’m almost 40, I’m almost fully realising myself as a woman and the power of womanhood I possess.

I’m so powerful that if KPLC connected me to the national grid, I’d power up this country and we’d never have another blackout.

Ho! Ho! Ho!


To recognize and celebrate International Women’s Day today, I’d like to recognize and celebrate eight women.

I have eight things to give away to each of these women:
a) Two tickets to my upcoming event on March 18 with @financialfitbit Theme is ‘Make your money matter’
b) Three autographed copies of my book ‘Should I?’
c) Three autographed copies of my other book ‘How Much?’

To participate:
1. Like this post
2. Tag women who deserve a win of either event ticket or book (tag as many women as you like)
3. Tell us what you’d like her to win and why she deserves the win
4. Make sure your tagged women follow @_craftit and @financialfitbit 

Here are the rules for the giveaway:
— One woman, one win
— Winners will be contacted via DM
— Giveaway closes at the end of this week, Inshallah, on Sunday 12 March
— Only open to people living in Kenya

All the best!

(Swipe right to see the women I’m celebrating.)

#craftit #internationalwomensday
  • My 2022 word of the year was Wholesome. 

Wholesome meant engaging in moderation and in pursuits that didn’t leave me feeling yucky.

An example: there’re weekend nights I’d go out then have too much to drink. On the drive home, I’d tell GB to stop the car every half mile so I could throw up on the side of the road. Then I’d take three working days recovering. 


No more of that nonsense.

Now I have only two doubles of Singleton whiskey and chase it with water. I eat less food and I eat better. I take my supplements. I treat myself to an early bedtime and arise with my body clock, no alarm.

I spend a lot more time hanging with my kids, Muna and Njeeh. 

I buy fewer things. 

I play the piano. 

I created a disciplined routine for my work and take Thursdays off. 

You catch my drift…

Wholesome has become my lifestyle. 

(By the way, I was asked, ‘Where does this word-of-the-year come from, Bett?’ I don’t know about other people but for me, the words present themselves when I’m journaling. My spirit tells me what it needs; I must be still enough to listen and brave enough to obey.)

My word for 2023 is Overdrive.

My two books have unlocked new opportunities for me as a writer and creative. As an urban brand. I’d honestly not foreseen them. 

I know that if I adjust my sails to where the wind is blowing, these opportunities will translate to wealth.

Last Friday, I listed all the work I’m already doing and all the new opportunities – potential and realised – knocking at my door.

I asked myself, ‘What am I taking up here and what am I dropping?’

The response, ‘None – we go into overdrive and smartly pursue them all.’

#craftit #urbanguide
  • Years ago, my best friend said to me, ‘Bett, we’re almost 40 – forget makeup, let’s take care of our skin instead.’

I had to laugh because this was coming from Terry. Terry my Kisii pal, this fine gyal with skin the colour of honey, the only practising SDA in my circle. 

Terry had spent her 20s and early 30s sleek with Arimis. That’s right, the milking jelly with a lactating cow on its logo. 

Arimis addressed all her skin pickles back then. It was her problem fixer. Her Olivia Pope. It’s the one thing that always said, It’s handled.

Now here she was preaching to us about a consistent skincare regimen in the AM and PM.


It wasn’t until Terry shared her selfies on our girls WhatsApp group that I stopped laughing. It wasn’t until we stood next her – and took these selfies – that I reeally stopped laughing: Terry’s skin was youthful and toned, plump. Hydrated. Moistured but not shiny. 

It looked like it had been kissed by the Greek goddess of radiance. 

So we gathered around her feet and said, ‘Forgive us, master. We are ready now. Teach us everything you know.’

She did. 

Terry and I now spend plenty of time before work and before bed squeezing out little portions of expensive skincare products from expensive tubes, we layer them on our face in a calculated measure.

This serum here is for the circles under my eyes and the fine lines around my mouth.

Turns out I’ve been giving away too much of my face: I’ve been looking too hard, laughing too easily.

I’ll have to spend the next year into my 40s with my eyes half shut and laughing little. I'll have a resting bitch face.

Don’t blame me, blame the retinol.

And age.

#craftit #urbanguide #urbangirl
  • I’m Bett. I’m the author of your favourite books about money. I’m hosting an in-person event in March, Inshallah: This is my personal invite to you.

#craftit #moneymaker #moneyinkenya
  • I am hosting my first money event this March, Inhsallah. It’s the first of quarterly events I have planned for the year. 

(Give me a moment here so I pull myself together long enough to write this. I’m smiling very hard right now, ha-ha, I look like a donkey.)


The event will be in-person. On a Saturday morning, a loose three hours which, I am certain, you’d have burned on some other pursuit you couldn’t account for later. (I’d probably be oiling the hinges of a squeaky door or decluttering my sock drawer.)

My guest host for this edition is Lynet Kyalo. 

Lynet is a personal finance coach under her brand @financialfitbit She also hosts @getyourbagrightpodcast 

Buy your tickets from our Market.

Early bird tickets are discounted until the end of this month.

Limited slots available. 

#craftit #millenialmoney #moneyevent #moneymaker
  • Sometimes I sit down and read my own book. 

Odd, huh?

Reading my own stories is like an out-of-body experience. Or getting introduced to myself again. An outward journey inward.

It’s fascinating.

I also read because I need to improve my writing for my next project.

We call them the Elements of Craft: things like sentence structure and punctuation, word placement, story length etc, they all inform your reading experience.

This is what makes the book easy to read, and has you turning the pages.

Cop your autographed copy and #betteryourmoney 

#craftit #howmuch #millenialmoney #moneymaker

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