BY ERNEST TUAPE
(Craft It’s new foreign correspondent in Kampala)
#1. How to get to Ku Mbuzi
You want to have an authentic Kampala experience, so catch a taxi to Ku Mbuzi. Forget Uber, Taxify or Safe Boda – go for our public transport.
(Oh, us Kampalans calls matatus ‘taxi’.)
The taxis heading to Gayaza Station are in the Old Taxi Park. They’re at the uneven edge of Gayaza, below the steps, after crossing the road from Mutaasa Kafeero arcade.
The conductors can tell you’re headed to Ku Mbuzi.
They’ll shout things out like, “Kalerwe-Mprerewe-Gayaza,” And they’ll call you names like Ssebo, Blaza, Nyabo or Sister. Anything to win you over.
#2. How to know you’re there
Tip: Sit next to the conductor.
As the taxi sets off, tell the conductor where you’re going. Look out the window while on the journey. You’ll see bodaboda riders cutting in front of cars with a level of precision only they can handle. You might cringe at this.
If you see a market that runs the length of about 100 meters along the road, that’s Kalerwe Market, one of our biggest in Kampala.
Remind the conductor not to forget you.
You’ll reach a T-junction with a line of BBQ stoves.
Welcome to Ku Mbuzi.
#3. Don’t be surprised
On any day of the week, you’ll find the parking bursting apart and spilling over.
You’ll see BMWs and Benzs, Toyotas and Mazdas. All these folk have driven over for one thing only: for the experience at Ku Mbuzi’s
Ku Mbuzi’s meat doesn’t discriminate upper-class from middle-class or lower-class.
People go there to have this untainted taste of a well-roasted plate of goat. Journalists put down their cameras. Sex workers forget the nature of their business. Suits loosen their ties and roll up their sleeves.
Everyone here is one big happy family of goat meat lovers.
#4. It doesn’t matter who you go to
There are over 15 service points at Ku Mbuzi. The offerings are the same. There isn’t a difference in the price.
All the meat has a tender, juicy, fireworks-cracking, heart-lightening, memory-stamping taste.
They all pamper you and call you boss and ma’am. Although at the different serving points some people come off as meek and others as aggressive, they all remain courteous to you.
They know you’re paying and they want to make that money with a glow on their faces and a beam in your stomach.
Your wallet won’t resist it.
#5. The back story
Here’s my version.
A broke young man decided he didn’t want empty pockets anymore. He noticed the City Authority fixing the road to Gayaza. He understood that the then-bushy junction to Gayaza and Kyanja could turn into a business place.
His strength lay in his ability to make BBQ.
So he borrowed Ugx 50k from a friend and bought a stove, charcoal, a roasting mesh and 3 Kgs of goat meat. Homeboy set up at that junction.
His first customer was a bodaboda rider.
Now everyone in Kampala is his customer and never forgets Ku Mbuzi.
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Tuape blogs at www.silliedance.com
